My Life in Brain Injuries

Although I have dozens more examples, this is the final installment addressing the effects TBIs have on relationships. TBIs can feel contagious to those who have to deal with an injured loved one, friend, or colleague. The injuries are disruptive, disorienting, and disheartening to everyone involved. Thanks again to Nan Dunne, ND, for her encouragement in writing this set of installments and thanks to the many clients who shared their stories.

Tinnitus

“Ever since Iraq, I’ve had whistles in my head that drive me crazy. They are so loud I sometimes can’t hear what is going on around me. My husband thinks I’m ignoring him, but sometimes I just can’t hear him.”

When Clinton’s wife called me to ask about neurofeedback for him, she stressed his tinnitus, complaining that he tries to drown it out. “Our whole house is filled with noise. The television, radio, fans are all on at once. He even turned on his electric drill and left it running on the kitchen counter because he said it made the noise in his ears less noticeable. I can’t hear myself think!”

Emotional lability

“I never know what to expect any more. Anything can flip the switch and make Howie’s mood change. Traffic seems to be a big trigger. Anything can freak him out, especially drivers passing him, but we don’t have to be in the car. Sometimes he just doesn’t like what I fixed for dinner, and he loses it.”

Karen seemed bewildered by her moods. “For example, I was driving with my sister just yesterday. The radio was on an oldies station, and I just started bawling. My sister couldn’t believe I was crying over the Rolling Stones. I never even liked the Rolling Stones! Why would I cry? And as quickly as it started, it stopped. I still can’t tell you what made me so upset. My moods are so wild these days, I’m afraid to go out at all.”

“I can’t let my husband be alone with our younger kids for even a few minutes. His moods change so dramatically, it totally confuses and scares them. It scares me too. He seems to have no control.”

Jonah had received reprimands from his supervisor for being short with customers. “I was employee of the year before my injury. I’ve been in retail for years and used to love my work. Now I’m afraid I’ll lose my job, but honestly? Sometimes I just want to bite a customer’s head off!”

According to her parents, Amy had been a model student. “We never had to worry about her. She had always been incredibly levelheaded, but after her injury her sophomore year in high school, she turned into Jekyll and Miss Hyde. Just as she was becoming an adult, we had to completely change how we deal with her. She doesn’t understand. She wants her freedom, but she simply can’t be trusted because whatever mood she’s in in the moment determines what she decides to do.”