My Life in Brain Injuries

Changes in sleep patterns is probably the most common disrupter that romantic partners complain of after a head injury.

Change in sleep habits.

“If you can help Doug, I’ll kiss your feet. He’s up at all hours, TV on full blast or banging around in the garage with the radio on full-bore. The neighbors have complained and I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in I don’t know how long. I feel raw. He couldn’t care less.”

Juanita described hellish nightmares since her return from three tours in the war zone. “I’d rather not sleep at all than have those dreams. The medications the doctors gave me just make the dreams hard to remember, but I wake up exhausted. Like I worked all night. I’ve tried not sleeping at all but that makes things even worse.”

“Myron never used to snore, but now it’s like a chain saw all night long. Ear plugs don’t work. I’ve started sleeping in the guest room. He hates it and has accused me of having an affair, but I just can’t stand the noise.”

Jimmy, a veteran of the first Iraq war, said he could no longer sleep in a bed. “I have to sleep on a recliner. Laying out flat feels too, you know, vulnerable. I don’t remember any dreams, but I’ve kicked out a few TV screens in my sleep. I wake up and the furniture’s broken. I’ve been all bloodied up from breaking mirrors and windows. Broke my girlfriend’s nose. No. She’s not my girlfriend anymore.”

Change in appetite – over or under eating.

Caitlyn, a teen who had a series of accidents and developed an antibiotic resistant bacterial infection after the last event, came to my office emaciated. Health conscious and athletic until her injuries, she wanted to eat, but felt nauseated by the sight, smell, and textures of all foods. “Sometimes I actually get food down, but I almost always vomit right away. I hate being this way. I can’t go out with my friends. I used to love going out for pizza with them, but the thought of pizza is horrible now. They think I have anorexia and are all ‘Oh poor Caitlyn!’ but I can tell they’re scared of me. I don’t want to be this way!”

Henry was brought in by his mother. A few years before, when three years old, he had fallen in a neighbor’s pool. He was resuscitated but hadn’t been “right” since. “Ever since then, he can’t tell me whether he’s hungry or full. If I don’t put food in front of him, he’ll go all day without eating. It just doesn’t occur to him. But if I don’t watch while he’s eating, he gorge himself and will eventually make himself sick.”

Dizziness, loss of balance, poor proprioception, feeling light-headed

Harold, 42 years old, came in complaining of depression. “I’ve lost all my friends. Ever since my accident, I’ve been dizzy. I used to be active in the Mazamas [a local mountaineering organization]. Now I can no sooner go for a hike than swim the Atlantic Ocean. All my friends are hikers. I can’t ask them to sit around and just talk. Who wants to do that?”

“Doris and I met at a dance; we built our relationship on dancing. Just before her brain surgery, we started tango lessons. Her balance is so bad now, I have to support her walking down the hall. I love her, but I also love to dance. I know it would break her heart if I got a new dance partner.”

“I took Dad to his PT appointment last week. They wanted him to close his eyes, stretch his arms out and then touch his finger to his nose. Kayle! He could barely find his head! His balance is terrible. I’m scared he’s going to fall when no one is around but he insists on living alone. He says 64 is too young for living in an old peoples’ home.”

Ethel, a 63-year-old, seemed very distracted when we did our intake. “Please forgive me. I have these waves that seem to sweep away my thoughts and fill my head with air. I can’t remember what I’m thinking or saying. I know there is something I ought to say, but I can’t remember. It’s very embarrassing. I’ve stopped going to church and Bible study group because I can’t bear the looks people give me. I know they think I’m crazy. Maybe I am.”

NEXT TIME: Changes in senses of taste and smell