My Life in Brain Injuries

Continuing discussion of the effects brain injuries may have on relationships – samples from my practice.

Time shifts for the head injured, probably because the brain is reliant on tight sequencing in order to function efficiently. Everything we perceive and do depends on timing and when it’s off, life becomes much harder for everyone.

Difficulty or slowness with processing information – speaking, seeing, hearing, or thinking.

Terry, a young father with small children, felt he was failing his children and his wife agreed. His thoughts came so slowly, he could no longer hold a conversation, even with his young kids. He could no longer read them bedtime stories. His wife told me, “I can’t trust him to take the kids to the park by himself – he can’t track what they’re doing. All it would take is for one of them to run off and we’d have a tragedy.”

Mark had to drop out of college after flying off his bike. “I felt dazed, but shook it off and rode my bike back to the dorm. Over the next few weeks, reading became difficult and I couldn’t track what the professors were saying. I tried using my friends’ notes from classes, but they didn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense. I can’t even understand stop signs. I have to think, ‘Red. I know that shape. S. T. O. P.’ By that time, I’m through the intersection. It’s getting scary. My girlfriend dumped me because she says I’m too reckless.”

Katie stayed in college and managed to scrape by with “good enough” grades after a fender bender several months before had left her “addled”. “What really bothers me is that I study really hard – I never go out – but I feel like I’m not learning anything. I’m scared to death to take tests. I have no idea what the questions mean, but I try to answer and somehow I get enough right to pass. I really don’t get it. I feel like I’m just a weird kind of lucky. How am I going to manage with a job if I ever graduate?”

“I’ll realize I haven’t seen Maureen for awhile and go looking for her. I usually find her staring at something, sort of frozen. If I ask, she doesn’t know why she’s there or how long she’s been there. I’ve found her several times standing in our closet, just in her underwear, trying to figure out what to wear. You used to be able to set a clock by Maureen, but no more. She was decisive and efficient and now she’s just lost.”

Robin, another college student, had trouble in lecture halls. “I know what you’re saying because you are sitting right in front of me and I can watch your lips. I can ask you to repeat yourself, but lectures are so different! You know the adults in the Charlie Brown shows on TV? That’s how lectures sound to me. ‘Mwhaa mwhaa mwhaaaa.’ I have no idea what is being said. I have to read the textbooks over and over and hope that the lectures come from the books and aren’t covering anything different. Every time I read, I take notes on index cards. I end up with hundreds of note cards that I go through over and over. Somehow I pass, but I don’t know how. I’ve quit going out with friends because I just have to study.”

Duane’s ability to process what he saw was greatly hampered after his brain injury. In fact, he eventually lost his driver’s license because it took him too long to “see” what was going on and respond appropriately. Unfortunately, he did not understand the implications, could not take responsibility and was irate that he could no longer drive. “I haven’t really hurt anybody. The last pedestrian made a big fuss, but I only bumped him.”

NEXT TIME: Getting lost, loss of energy, inhibition & libido.